I hadn't seen the door; it wasn't there last night how did it get hear and were did it come from...
It was tonight when I heard the sound of glooping in my brand new door I had not seen it before it could of been my mother and father who had brought it upstairs. I got up from out of my bed, I could not sleep because I was curious, so I opened the door to see what all the commotion was all about, I saw a black tunnel leading to a world of purple gloop. ''Weeeeeeeeeeee'' I shouted when I went down some weird but fun slide.
It was tonight when I heard the sound of glooping in my brand new door I had not seen it before it could of been my mother and father who had brought it upstairs. I got up from out of my bed, I could not sleep because I was curious, so I opened the door to see what all the commotion was all about, I saw a black tunnel leading to a world of purple gloop. ''Weeeeeeeeeeee'' I shouted when I went down some weird but fun slide.
Good use of speech, remember punctuation before the speech marks.
ReplyDeleteMiss Gardiner