Relaxing as usual, in the transparent, tranquil ocean with her curious friends (Splosh and Splash) Drippy was waiting for her next adventure. The raging sun was beaming down on the crystal clear sea all of a sudden a heat wave over came drippy she was transforming her into water vapour-she was evaporating. He felt a tingle slide down his slithery back like a spider climbing over your hot hand! "here it comes" shrieked splosh expressionless. Rapidly, she felt a queasy feeling floating through her belly-it was time! An overwhelming sensation travelled through Drippy's body she new what extravagant journey was awaiting her in the air.
As they rose they cautiously squeezed through tight puffy, fluffy ball of cotton wool ;it was a cloud. Seconds later she began altering back into a water droplet whilst connecting with the other droplets to make one big tight feeling. Drippy was condensing as the cloud grew darker and heavier to get ready to precipitate but drippy was not looking forward she was missing her droplet family. Although drippy is used to the water cycle an unforgettable feeling runs down her body. A tingle of trepidation trickled down her spine (she was precipitating!)
Exploding out of the cloud drippy darted onto the hard mountain at an exhilarating speed! "Whooooo!" screamed drippy with her fast tightening. Second later drippy ran down the mountain it was sensational like when you slide along a puddle of sharp ice. Suddeny, splashed back into the ocean wondering how exited her family will be to hear her exiting journey that made her heart pound like a drum out of her chest!
Some great sentence openers and vocabulary choices!
ReplyDeleteBe careful with your commas - can you spot where you have missed them out?